How to learn to listen to the interlocutor

Why do you need active listening?

Many people interrupt the interlocutor to prove that he is wrong, and to express their point of view. But the interlocutor will not want to open his soul anymore if he sees that his opinion is not important.

Sometimes it is necessary to listen to another person, to grasp the meaning of his words, to understand what he thinks. After all, we already know our opinion; you can also take note of someone else’s. Who knows, suddenly it will be useful for us. In addition, a person who really knows how to listen and has empathy skills draws people to him.

How to learn to listen?

There are 5 components, without which active listening is impossible.

1. Concentrate on the interlocutor attention

Put aside phones, books, tablets and focus on the other person. Think of him, not something else. Make the other person the central object of your consciousness, look directly at him. It is a lot of importance not only to be aware of the words of the interlocutor, but also to notice his facial expressions, pantomime, gestures, intonations.Hundreds of articles and books have been written about non-verbal speech, where it is written in detail about each of these moments.

2. Let the other person see you listening to him.

Nod, smile where you need it, repeat the expression on the other person’s face. Let the interviewee notice that your attention is directed to him. Encourage the person to continue the conversation. When a person realizes that you not only hear him, but also want to continue the conversation, he will express his thoughts more willingly and openly.

3. Create feedback

It is important to the interlocutor that his opinion be understood from all sides. Ask clarifying questions: “I understand that ... (paraphrase the idea of ​​the interlocutor). Do you mean that?". It is very effective to repeat the last few words of the interlocutor, as well as periodically summarizing the above.

4. Avoid criticism.

While the person is speaking, do not interrupt him. Give him your opinion. In addition, critical thoughts for a time should be avoided. If you start thinking about how the interlocutor is wrong and how would you say it, you stop listening to him and take up your own thoughts. Try to put yourself in his place, consider the situation from his point of view.

5. Summarize correctly

If your opinion does not coincide with the opinion of the interlocutor, express it with respect to someone else's point of view. There should not be rude, harsh statements that refute the opinion of the interlocutor.

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