How to prepare a child for the birth of a brother or sister?
When there is a child in the family, this is happiness, and when there are two of them, happiness increases exactly as many times. Waiting for replenishment is always a very pleasant and exciting period for parents, but it is the same for the firstborn, because soon a new person will appear in his life - the youngest.
Many fathers and mothers believe that it is not necessary to devote the child to various subtleties and report on the upcoming event when only 2-3 months remain before the birth of a brother or sister. Psychologists believe this approach is erroneous, asserting that the baby should know about the appearance of the baby at the beginning of her mother's pregnancy.
Jealousy - the first problem
Attention, care, gifts and joint games - all this will soon have to be shared with others, this is how the firstborn reason, when the whole family is looking forward to the second. It is from the moment of realizing this truth that jealousy begins.
Dealing with it can be difficult, and its forms can sometimes be too aggressive.Children under 3 years old often try to hit, bite, push the baby, not listening to their parents and rolling up hysterics for anything.
And if the older brother or sister is already at a more conscious age, then they can begin to behave like little ones - stop asking for help, persuade them to dress-undress them or feed them. Here, then, you just need to know how to prepare a child for the upcoming important event without compromising the psyche and maintaining an understanding of one's own importance.
Rules for parents
- So that the upcoming changes do not cause protest and stress, you should talk in advance with the baby. The most successful period for this is 3 months, when the risk of miscarriage is already significantly reduced. When reporting a pregnancy, discard the feeling of guilt. With children of 4-10 years is not worth discussing this topic in advance, because at this age, children are very impatient, and soon the expectation can turn into resentment and irritability.
- Explain what follows the birth of a younger brother or sister. The kid should understand what changes will occur in his life, how he will behave, what his parents will do. Thus, his responsibility will be formed.But do not forget to remind that you love, and you will love it, as before.
- Do not scold for protests. To begin with, listen carefully to all the thoughts and arguments of the child, even if they are absolutely wrong. A child can say that he does not want a brother or sister, will not love them. But your task is to give him an opinion and help to cope with the experiences.
- Tell us about his childhood. Look for photos from the first ultrasound, tell us that not so long ago he also lived with his mother in the abdomen, share memories of funny stories related to his appearance, read together the first achievements and see the photo album. And after that, explain that the second kid will be just as small and helpless, so you need to join forces and wait for him to appear together.
- Agree on responsibilities. By the birth of the youngest child, you can talk with the elder about how he can take care of a brother or sister - make a bed, choose clothes, buy toys together with parents. Let him "manage" the spheres where he will feel like an expert, and also provide an opportunity to participate in family affairs - preparing the room and choosing a name.
- Go visit. Visit friends who have two or more children. Tell us how fun and pleasant it is to have a big family.
Mom went to the hospital
This is perhaps the most exciting time for dad and older children. What should relatives do during this period? It is important that the second parent is near, so the child will not feel abandoned or left out of work. While mother stayed in the maternity hospital, you can go to a children's store and buy a joint gift, which can be presented to the youngest during the discharge or return home, or together draw a picture and hang it over the crib.
Before leaving, it is important for mother to agree with the child on how they will be able to communicate in her absence (for example, by phone or email). Parents are important at first to behave properly, not to drive away the elder, citing the fact that he is already big. You should also not make him a nanny, shouldering all the minor duties of care, he, too, is still a child and, just as before, wants to play and enjoy his childhood.
After the appearance in the family of a small child, make it a rule to never compare children or put another in the example. So anger and resentment can appear, for some reason, the younger one is always better.Introduce the elder to the baby and cheer him up, saying that he will be able to teach the crumbs a little later all the important skills.
How easily and painlessly the baby can adapt to the changes taking place is entirely dependent on the parents and the environment. Do not forget about the positive family microclimate. That it is the basis of a good relationship of your loved ones.
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