Why does my mood always go bad before my birthday?
- The biggest desire is to just lie down and sleep off so that you do not tug at anywhere.
Alexandra, 35 years old, housewife:
- I love to celebrate a birthday, and very much so. I love to feel a sense of celebration, magic. As a child, waiting for attention, gifts. It's nice that the most close and close people are going. It sounds strange, but every year on my holiday I expect a miracle. You wake up in the morning and you understand that this day has come. And you wait with bated breath. Here comes the son, hugs, congratulates, kisses. And you are the happiest. During the day you read congratulations and jump for joy that they remember and love you. You receive calls, listen to native voices, which you have not listened to for a very long time. Accept wishes, congratulations. And all is not so bad! Life goes on! You took one more step forward. And I want to extend this day, because at this time you feel such attention to yourself.
Marina, 37 years old, civil servant:
- I now do not like to celebrate anywhere - neither at home, nor in a cafe.At home you will not relax, at first cooking and cleaning. At the table you can not sit - you run to the kitchen. Moods - zero. And it is impossible not to celebrate - I still know that relatives will come. In cafes, restaurants, clubs, I used to like it. Now - no, because as long as there is no money.
These are different opinions. Let's see, why so many people do not want to celebrate their birthday, why the mood deteriorates and so on. Let us examine everything from the point of view of psychophysiology.
Reason number 1: psychological
Psychologists believe that on the day of his birth, a person subconsciously recalls the process of his birth and, therefore, experiences fear. Here you swam in warm water, you were fed and watered, you do not need to do anything, open and close your eyes, move your hands. And then - bang! - the house was not just cramped, it was still going to drive you out. Where? What for? Unclear. Yes, and painfully squeeze through the birth canal. And the air in the room is cold, burning with dryness ... Nothing is visible: one blue haze. Other people's hands grab you. Fearfully!
Therefore, according to psychologists, many of us have a birthday wish to hide from everyone, to wrap ourselves in a warm blanket and sleep. Or just run, wander alone where it's good.
And someone can’t get by with simple sleepiness: his body responds with colds, flu, aggravates chronic “sores” so that a person is surely in a warm bed.
What to do?
Two weeks before the date, pay special attention to your health, especially if you are going to celebrate a round date or anniversary. Monitor pressure, pulse, body temperature, if necessary, visit a doctor. Avoid lack of sleep and stress, take a vacation shortly before the event.
As often as possible, dip yourself into a state of rest and safety, imitating the mother's womb. Take a warm bath with salt (without aromatherapy) with a mask to sleep on your face.
You can also improve your psychophysical condition using:
- natural antidepressants (chocolate, citrus fruits, bananas, berries);
- Physical activity (gym, dancing, a favorite kind of fitness);
- clean air and natural aromatherapy (walks in the forest, park, by the river or on a flowering meadow).
Reason number 2: age awareness
Awareness of their age often becomes relevant just before the onset of the birthday.At the age of 17, many are afraid of becoming adults and already miss their childhood, while 30-year-olds seem to them almost old. At 30, we are sad that the fourth decade has already begun, and so little has been done. But in 40 years it seems to many that the most interesting thing is just beginning.
What to do?
Usually the sad mood "What am I already old!" Is connected with summarizing and analyzing what is good and what's wrong with you over the past year, what was decided and what is left in the plans.
If you like to conduct an audit of values, we offer you this method. Take two sheets of paper. On one write your achievements, successes, good events that happened to you this year, and on the other, list all the troubles and mistakes you have made. Hang the first sheet in a visible place, and tear the second sheet, cut it, or “give it to be devoured” to the shredder.
Reason number 3: someone is not around
My birthday is at the end of June. In due time this day constantly coincided with university examinations. When my young man refused to come to me for the holiday because of the preparation for the diploma, I was very offended. Like, how so? Can't you revise your plans? I could not put myself in the place of a man who had not yet defended himself.Because she received a diploma two days ago and was calm.
What to do?
Turn on empathy and put yourself in the shoes of another person. If he cannot be with you on this beautiful day, just take his decision for granted. He is not at all obliged to give up everything and run towards you. He is entitled to some urgent business, he may have a bad mood. He has the right to do so. If you really want to meet a birthday with this person, postpone the celebration on a day convenient for all or arrange the event again. Why not prolong your pleasure?
Reason number 4: "Everything will be not the way I want"
The most common cause of bad mood on the eve of the holiday. We all know: miracles do not happen, and such feelings that embraced us in childhood during the holidays, we will not experience. Hence, various complaints arise: "To cook tired," "I do not want to see some people at the table," "Gifts are boring," "Birthday will not surprise me at all."
What to do?
Love yourself and feel free to turn on the fantasy. In a relaxed atmosphere alone with myself honestly reflect: “And what do I really want on this day? What will make me happy? "Remember or write down all the ideas that come to mind, even the most absurd. Here Ilya wants to sleep on his birthday. And he has the right to do so.And Marina, who was tired of cooking and expensive cafes, as it turned out later, would like to meet her birthday on the river bank at a picnic with a cake. And she also has the right to do so.
The main thing is the emotions and fulfillment of their desires, which are not always expensive.
Also, if you are strained by some actions-traditions in celebrating such events, you have the right to refuse them. Because it is your day and you have to love yourself first. You have the right not to wash dishes, not to cook food, not to arrange gatherings at work, if you have already seen enough of your colleagues, and so on and so forth.
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